The art teacher who draws on your picture. WTF does this person think he (or she) is doing? YES the legs are too short, NO cows don’t have the same tails as horses… But tell me with WORDS, indicate with your finger, Most of all DO NOT DRAW ON MY PICTURE. Nobody should draw on somebody else’s picture. Even Simon Cowell wouldn’t draw on somebody else’s picture. I hate that sort of art teacher.
The person who chats with you but doesn’t listen - and then enquires about something that you’ve already explained. “Is your brother going to be there?”, YES you ignorant f*ck, I told you about two minutes ago that he is driving up with his family to be there. You’re not old, you’re not deaf and you don’t have special needs… You’re just so RUDE and SELFISH that as far as you are concerned, my words are mere punctuations, rests if you will, between your own verbal spewing. In other words, you’re not listening.
The person who dumps you romantically and then says “But we can still be friends, right?” Oh yeah, OF COURSE we can. I mean, OK, you’ve just reached into my chest, torn out my heart and spat on it… But I’d still like to hang out. Hell, I hope I’m hanging out with you when you meet someone better than me, someone you can REALLY love, it will give me something to live up to! Oh please. The only way I can be friends with an Ex who dumped me, is if five years of no contact have passed (and I’m over him), or if he has been mangled in a horrible farm-machinery accident, (which would possibly dredge up some pity in me).
The person who tries to be “wacky” or “zany” because they cannot face how boring they are. Anyone who says “everyone at work thinks I am just CRAZY! They never know what I’m going to do next!” Should eat shit and die. I swear, that person isn’t “fun”, they are the most loathed and avoided person in the building. People who are mad don’t know it – so if you’re going around saying “I’m mad!”, what you probably mean is “I want to be funny but I’m not”. And laughing loudly in a stupid way doesn’t make you interesting either, which is why I stopped meeting Jane for coffee and started pretending that I was dead when she called.
The sort of person who says “I never watch TV”. Not people who just haven’t got time, or the money for a TV, but the person who uses this as a way to prove how CLEVER they are. Refusing to watch TV doesn’t make you any brighter than someone who refuses to read books (there are some rubbish ones in Waterstones you know), or someone who refuses to go to the cinema (because they once saw “Joe vs The Volcano”). TV is like everything else, you have to exercise some taste and frankly if you’d rather miss all the GOOD things on TV than do that, I think you’re rather stupid.
The person who says “I speak my mind”. OK, I know, I’ve just spent far too much of your time speaking my mind… But c’mon, you know the sort of person I mean. I hate it when people pretend that being insensitive is a virtue, especially if that same person gets all moody when they get some back. There is a pretty thick line between being “honest” and being “cruel” and people who decide to “speak their minds” usually know full well that they are crossing it, in big stomping boots. What they really mean is “I’m a verbal bully, with no social skills”. Or in the case of the UK “I’m from Yorkshire”.
I actually hate more people than this but I’ve said enough for one day. Who do you hate?