Lately, I’ve been investigating ways to disguise my Nasolabial Folds. No, I know what you are thinking but baggier underwear will NOT help. Shame on you.
Nasolabial folds are the lines that run from the sides of the nose to the corners of the mouth – otherwise known in our house as “Your Judge Dredd lines” (thanks son). They are Nature’s way of punishing people for smiling and, despite my rather grumpy image so far on WordPress, I seem to have smiled way too often in my life. Mind you, Droopy (the dog) has them too and he is even more downbeat in public than me. Perhaps it is merely the result of having fat cheeks, or perhaps Droopy and I are both more fun behind closed doors.
So what can I do about my Nasolabial problem?
Well, plastic surgery is an option but I’m not a fan of that. Joan Rivers. Michael Jackson. David Gest. I rest my case. Plastic surgery doesn’t normally make people look better, it makes them look “different” and by that I mean “unlike actual humans”. I don’t want to look as though my skull is rammed into a skin that is too small for it. I’m not keen on the idea of looking like a demented puppet on crack either, just for the sake of a couple of wrinkles.
Less drastic options would include “dermal fillers” but I‘m dubious about those too. We’ve seen the endless stream of celebrities with “Trout Pout”, from having their lips injected. Surely filling in my Nasolabial Folds will result in me looking like something more akin to a blowfish. There is a reason my face folds where it does and “fillers” would inhibit that, as would “Botox”, or the like. I still want to be able to smile a bit, I just want the lines to look less obvious when I’m not smiling.
I could buy a facial exercise thingy, as demonstrated by this stupid woman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zlxVC-1kAs But NO, I don’t think that is a good look outside of “special interest” magazines and “art” videos. Also, I can’t see that getting rid of lines, it looks as though it would cause them.
I suppose all I can do is what I’m doing already – paint light reflecting stuff into the lines with YSL’s “Touche Eclat” pen (get one, even if you are a MAN, it’s brilliant) and hold my face in a flattering pose. Yes THAT pose, the one you’ll already know about if you are a woman over forty. The pose/expression, where you stick out your lower jaw a little, adopt an aura of facial serenity (think Mona Lisa) and hold your head up at all times. Flattering for a saggy face, if a little bit “odd” in almost any situation.
Madonna has a personal Lighting Man, who follows her around (allegedly), would any of you like to buy me one of those?