Buying A Gift For The Woman you Love

Are you a man? Do you want to buy a gift for the woman you love – but you lack confidence in your judgement? You’ve come to the right place. I don’t want to list the pros and cons of every possible gift on the planet, so instead here are a some pertinent questions you should ask yourself before purchasing anything for her – PLUS some suggestions for gift ideas.

Your gift idea:

Is it something she has specifically asked you to get her?  Yes? Buy it then! Only a man could come here looking for better ideas than getting the “little lady” what she bloody asked for. Anything I say about gifts from this point onward is irrelevant if she has ASKED for the thing in question.

Is it something you could/would buy for a man?  Don’t buy it for the poor girl then! She is beautiful, desirable, the Queen of your Heart… Her gift should be pretty, feminine and flirty – not a surround sound system that you probably want for yourself. If you want to get her a car though, you can do that! But make it a pink one, or something.

Is it “practical”?  Buying a practical gift for a woman you are supposed to love is a bit like slapping her on the back and suggesting she joins you in a farting contest. In other words, it’s unromantic. Calendars, cruet sets, socks, household appliances – they are all like the kiss of death to love. I married a man who bought me that kind of shit and then I ran off with someone else. See?

Is it traditionally romantic?  By this I mean, is your gift going to be chocolates, flowers, diamonds, a trip to Paris or a fabulous designer handbag? If so, buy away with confidence. Women love gifts that show everyone how much you love them. “He bought me a huge bouquet!” she will tell her friends, “He bought me diamond earrings!” – and you will be the Hero in her personal Chick Flick. Somehow “He bought me a watering can” doesn’t quite compete – even if it is a really expensive one.

Is it personally romantic?  A personally romantic gift is another wonderful idea, that she can enjoy and boast about. My current boyfriend once gave me a framed strip cartoon, that he had drawn himself, telling (in a very sweet and funny way) the story of our love. Right about now any woman reading this will know exactly WHY I ran off with him. Guys, think about your woman and what makes her sigh wistfully and gaze into your eyes. A song? A film? A place? Now buy something to do with that.

Is it connected to sex? If, however, your gift idea is connected to sex in some way (an outfit, sex toys, chocolate body paint) think again. I mean, those would be perfectly good things to buy out of the blue, or possibly for a shared Anniversary… But if you are buying a gift for her Birthday or Christmas, you really should be choosing something specifically for HER and not something that slyly gets you off as a side effect. She isn’t an idiot.

Is it unique? Gifts that are hand-made are very romantic. There are so many struggling artists out there, making beautiful things to buy, and often their wares are very affordable. Choose something pretty and wrap it in tissue and ribbons – What girl could resist? Bear in mind that nothing you can buy from a garage (gas station) forecourt falls into this category.

Does it insult her?  Strange as it may seem, men often buy women gifts that insult them! She doesn’t want clothes in the wrong size (so embarrassing to admit) and clothes that fitted perfectly would be a bit creepy (or is that just me?). She doesn’t want bath products (boring, plus, she doesn’t smell of sweat) and she doesn’t want wrinkle cream. She might like a trip to a Spa but she doesn’t want a coupon for liposuction, or gym membership.  Seriously, diamonds are a better bet.

Well, I hope all that has helped. Feel free to ask questions, or add comments… I’m always open to dialogue.

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10 responses to “Buying A Gift For The Woman you Love

  1. My ex-husband (wonder why) once bought me a sexy nighty from a party he attended (behind my back) where they had slutty women modeling the nighties. He was so proud of himself. I threw the damned thing away since I figured it came straight off the model and I’d never be able to get the skank out of the crotch.

    • The husband of a former neighbor bought her some worn-out, used lingerie on eBay, and bragged–BRAGGED–to her about how much money he saved. Oh, and this was at Valentine’s Day.

      She’s my former neighbor because she moved out less than two months later.

    • “I’d never be able to get the skank out of the crotch.”

      I think you summed it up nicely!

  2. Why is this so hard for some men to get? My ex was really awful about gifts too. He’d bring me things he’d picked out of the garbage, and expected me to be thrilled with “all the money he’d saved.” *eyeroll*

    • Tight-fisted men are so unattractive. When they won’t share in one area of their lives they are normally selfish in other areas too. I know, I’ve been there.

  3. michael_sellars

    A very timely reading of this, given my beloved Kerry’s birthday is in a week! Somehow, an iPod charger, a book about African mountain runners and a neti pot is going to do it.

  4. michael_sellars

    *NOT going to do it!

  5. I actually like getting socks. (My pants are all tragically too short, so I compensate by wearing very obnoxious socks.)

    • I have some great socks. I love stripes, flowers, Hello Kitty, glitter, cartoons – anything that annoys my b/f and my son. I like buying them for myself though.

      You sound tall… You’d like my b/f he is 6’6″ of geeky fanboy.

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