Recently, I have been trying to become a Christian (I have been going to Church but don’t really “get” it yet). I have enjoyed a great deal about being involved with the Church and I have met some lovely people (far less freaky than I anticipated) – but I stumble a bit when it comes to praying.
I try to pray but it is really confusing. I mean I get the bit where I am openly thankful for the good things I have in my life but what then? I’m not supposed to ASK for things, because they might not be part of God’s Plan. Well, I can ask… But I am going to get God’s Plan anyway. I’m not supposed to tell God what to do, under any circumstances, like a natural disaster or something. Firstly, he KNOWS what to do (being God helps with that) so my suggestions are wasted. Secondly, he doesn’t need my permission to do things. Thirdly, in fact, He could be getting on with whatever was the best thing to do, if I wasn’t holding him up by talking. So all I’m really left with is, asking God to help other people (or me) put up with what He has done – which seems a bit cheeky. I suppose if I say, “Give them the strength to endure this test Oh Lord!” it puts a more positive spin on the crappy things that are happening to people daily but it also sounds kind of like asking Him to help them cheat (when He set the exam). Oh and Asking for healing seems like it is sometimes OK, (I almost forgot) but it still seems to violate the Prime Directive. Also I’d hate to ask and then not have it work for someone – That would raise all kinds of doubts and negative emotions. Ugh.
As you can see, I’m utterly perplexed. I just stick to saying “Thanks for the good stuff and Thy Will be done”. Is that right? I don’t know.
EDIT: Oh my goodness, I forgot the whole I’m supposed to praise God bit! You see? I’m hopeless! Obviously, I do that bit. But more in Church, when the Priest is saying it and I’m joining in).
(Please tell me if including a picture obscures the text in any way, I’ve seen that happen elsewhere. Thanks!)