Things So Vile That I Like Them #1 – Oreos

It was as a child that I first noticed the existence of Oreos. They were one of those seemingly exotic things they had in America but we didn’t have in the UK (along with fire hydrants, garbage disposal units, and teeth). As I grew up I saw Oreos mentioned over and over again, in cartoons, on Sesame Street, in films… Oreos were obviously huge  in America but we couldn’t get them here and therefore we couldn’t try them. It was very frustrating, not least because Americans didn’t deserve to get exciting biscuits – for a start they called them “cookies”, which is just wrong.

Think how pleased I was then, in recent years, to find that Oreos were on sale here AT LAST! . Oh happy day! I opened my first packet of Oreos with shaking hands and a thrill of anticipation – they looked SO nice. I tasted one… It was actually kind of vile. And by “kind of” I mean it WAS vile. But for some inexplicable reason I still wanted more. I was hooked.

Oreos (as if you didn’t know) taste like somebody has force-fed dark chocolate to a giant rabbit, collected the resulting poos, flattened them into disks and dried them to a brittle hardness. Then they’ve taken the disks, sandwiched them together in pairs, with sweet white creme, and sprinkled the entire batch with salt. I suppose that makes them sound a bit off-putting but they are actually strangely moreish. They most certainly qualify as things so vile that I like them.

Americans dip Oreos in milk, I hear. If you are American – I don’t know how long you’ve been doing that but you are making a huge mistake. Dip them in tea. Milky tea.


31 responses to “Things So Vile That I Like Them #1 – Oreos

  1. Anyone from a country where people regularly eat marmite are not allowed to make fun of American food choices.

  2. Screw Oreo – Hydrox are little better anyhow. Hey – Oreo actually ripped off Hydrox! People think it was the opposite. Anyway, Country Choice Sandwich Cremes are so deliciouser it’s not even funny. My wife and I call them ‘the crack.’ Not the Irish ‘the crack,’ but the refined cocaine kind.

    • I read about the Hydrox thing when I was doing my extensive research (for this post) on Wikipedia. I want to taste one of those now but they’ve stopped making them!

      If I see Choice Sandwich Cremes I shall buy some and eat a whole packet, in your honour!

  3. Bart – SOME Brits eat Marmite, but most of us are sensible and hate the stuff.

    And let’s be honest, it’s fairly common knowledge that we do biscuits and chocolate far better than you Yanks!

    However Oreos do have their uses – crush them up, mix them with ice cream, put into a pastry base and serve frozen, makes a lovely summer-time dessert.

  4. Ugh. Can I take back that last comment? It’s true, but it’s not actually relevant. Hey, have you tried the Oreo Cakesters? Me neither. Let me know what’s up with the if you do, okay?

  5. Much better for making a crumb crust with. But they are good in milk!

  6. Wait until you see what they do to your pooh!

    • I’ve had them before, that’s how I know I like them! I’m only writing about them now because I’m going to feature vile things that I like occasionally. And I shall NEVER see what they do to my poo. I wipe and look away I’m NOT GERMAN. ;)

  7. Okay. I don’t think we can be friends anymore if you are going to insult my favourite cookie. Yes, cookie. It is also Otis’ favourite cookie and I don’t think he likes you anymore either.

    I eat the two rabbit poo hard disks and feed the sugar stuff to the dogs.

    • Insult? I said “I like them”! Admittedly I included the word “vile”.

      Otis wouldn’t desert me over one biscuit, he reads my blog all the time and he loves it.

  8. Cookie. Cookie, cookie, cookie. Biscuits are puffy dough balls slathered with gravy. The deliciously sweet bite sized confection is a COOKIE!

    Yours are salty? That’s so weird – I detect no salt on ours at all. I don’t dip them, but I do enjoy one or 2 with a cup of coffee on occasion. COFFEE. Not tea. Nice, rich, creamy, sweet COFFEE!


    • “Biscuits are puffy dough balls slathered with gravy.” Try telling that to Her Majesty The Queen, next time she is dunking a nice biscuit in her tea!

      Ours taste salty (more in them than on them) but maybe that’s just me. And coffee? *shudder* Although that might go well with Oreos (but don’t tell anyone I said that).

      • “Biscuit” is from medieval French bis-cuit, meaning “twice-cooked”. Are the puffy scone-like things cooked twice? If not (and the recipes I’ve read suggest not), they’re not biscuits.

        That’s one thing that puzzles me about Americans, they don’t seem to realise that names have meanings. It’s worse with place-names (how can you name a place X-ford, X-bridge, X-caster unless it HAS a ford, a bridge or a castle/fortified camp?) but this is another one.

  9. Liddle-Oldman

    The *proper* way to eat an Oreo, by the way, is to carefully pry it aparat, eat the filling (just to get it out of the way), and then eat the lovely chocolate bits by themselves.

    If you can get chocolate-cream Oreos, they’re ever so much better.

    • We can get those! Brandon doesn’t like them as much but I like them, as a nice change. And I eat them the way you suggest, or I dip them in tea. :D

  10. I usually think I don’t like Oreos, but every now and then I eat one… and another… and other… until I’ve eaten an entire row! I do like the double-stuff Oreos the best.

  11. I let them get stale, because then the cookie part isn’t as hard. And they’re so messy to eat! They make your teeth and tongue black, which I can’t stand.

    I actually prefer them in Cookies n’Cream ice cream. Yum!

  12. I don’t really like Oreo cookies, I prefer Fudgeeo Cookies:

    I am a bit disturbed by the fact that you can buy them on E-Bay. lol

  13. A post about Oreos! This is so exciting!

    I like dipping my Oreos into hot chocolate. Because you can never have enough chocolate. And because I don’t like milk…or tea…please don’t hate me.

  14. No, no, no. You have to dip them in milk. Dip, count to 5, suck all the milk out and then enjoy.

    A really good treat is oreo truffles… grind up oreo cookies, mix them with cream cheese and cover them in chocolate.

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