When I moved my internet “home” to WordPress, I discovered a new toy – because included in my handsome blog was a Blog Stats page.
Oh. My. God. I am obsessed with my Blog Stats. I am SO excited by any “progress” I make. Did I get more hits than yesterday? Did this week do better than last week? How are my hits this month, compared to last month?
And then there is the list of “Top Posts and Pages”. Oooohhh… What do people WANT? What is my most popular post of ALL TIME? Click, click, click… My fingers are a blur, my brain becomes a computer. I study the Graphs, I hold my breath each time I check the hits so far today…
I need to get out more.
There is even a bit where it lists what people have put into Google search, to find your site (I’ve mentioned this before). One of the most disturbing was “puppies dogs sucking womens tits”… WHAT?! And that led them to me, did it? Let me point out that after two days of breast-feeding my first CHILD I gave up – so puppies have got NO chance.
Anyway, back to the Stats. Well, you are here now, reading this, and that means you’re included in my Stats today. I love you. Seriously. We will share a cigarette together later and I will make you breakfast. Tell other people about my blog and let’s have a threesome! You know you want to.
Dave has suggested that my obsession with Stats and Hits is unhealthy. He has also pointed out that “Page Views” are not the same as “Unique Visitors”, which means (after he applies some kind of weird calculation) that his blog at soylentdave.com is probably more popular than mine. F**k HIM! I may not have the most famous blog on the planet but it is growing in popularity and I like my little Stats game.
I’ve already said I need to get out more, haven’t I?