I’ve just sat through three and a half hours of the Eurovision Song Contest. There were TWENTY FIVE songs in the Grand Final, all of which I marked (I made a special marking sheet) on Costumes, Performance and Song. Then I added the three marks for each, to get a Total for each… Then I watched the official scoring.
I wanted us to win of course but I marked Turkey, or maybe Greece, as my winners.
Who came LAST?
The UNITED KINGDOM.
*Tsk* why did I bother? Well, I know why I bothered really… Because it is the campest show on Earth, because the sheer WTFness of some of the acts (Spain this year) is hilarious, and because I love doing my own scoring. Oh and it is an excuse to eat snacks (alone on the bed, in my room, in front of the TV) and tell everyone else in the house to f*ck off, until I call them.
Now all we need to do is to get Susan Boyle to sing our next entry, whilst doing a naked break-dance – and then perhaps we will get some votes from those ungrateful bastards in Europe. Whose arses we saved during the WAR. Against GERMANY.