Taking The Shame (England V USA)

Oh my God. When will I ever learn NOT to get excited about the “possibility” of England winning the World Cup? Four minutes in and I was laughing heartily, chanting obscenities, a goal up and waiting for more.

“FOOTBALL, it’s called FOOTBALL!” I yelled at the TV screen. We were winning, the Yanks were losing, I was eating a big bowl of chocolate ice-cream and all was well, in my tiny world. It didn’t last.

At my Church we have a partially blind, elderly, arthritic woman – who sits at the back on Sundays, holding her walking-stick and singing hymns in a feeble voice. I don’t know if she is available to fly out to South Africa, before our next match – but if she IS, I suggest that Fabio Capello puts her in goal, instead of Robert Green.

Check out the reaction on the BBC News website:

“England have plenty of time to regroup and progress, but this was an unsatisfactory night for Capello and his players.”

“Unsatisfactory”?  WHAT THE HELL?! They should all be put in the Tower Of London! The SHAME is killing me!

Well done USA (apart from all the “Saving Private Ryan” style acting every time we tackled you) you deserved to get a draw. As for England? Who knows… I’m getting flashbacks to every World Cup since 1966, at the moment.



21 responses to “Taking The Shame (England V USA)

  1. The best part is that there are only like 3 people here in the USA who actually care about SOCCER. *runs!*

  2. What? Oh, right. That little soccer tourney thing.

  3. There, there! It’s okay!

  4. @evergrey- That’s really not true. There are A LOT of people that love soccer in the US. Just go to any town with a pro team. In Seattle the Sounders have a huge fan base.

    We’re catching on. Slowly, but surely. Some people over here even like Formula 1. Now if we can just get BBC coverage over here….

  5. Okay … so, I don’t have TV right now – are you saying the USA won the soccer match? Was this like for the World Cup, or one of the games leading up to that, or what?

    • We drew. *sobbing*

      The qualifying teams are arranged in “Groups” and England are in the same Group as the US of A. We have to get through to the next Round, on points. We still can but if we can’t even beat you lot, I don’t like our chances. And stop saying “soccer”. *pout*

  6. I know nothing about that sport you’re talking about, but when I heard on the radio that US & England tied, I chuckled and thought of you.

  7. I blame Green’s gloves. What the hell were those? They looked like Mickey Mouse gloves!

    I’m with everyone who said that they thought of you during the whole game. For me, you’ve officially replaced the Queen when it comes to representing England.

    • Hahahaha! I think that is a compliment…

      Those gloves are the right kind but we would have been better off with Mickey fucking Mouse in goal.

      • Of course it’s a compliment. Besides, the queen never returns my e-mails.

        People around here were talking about how much better the English team played. Even though we never play soccer…uh, football… we do recognize superior ball control when we see it. One guy I know went so far as to say, “If it had been a real sport, they’d have beaten us 47 to 0!”

        We all know England is going to advance at the end group play with 7 points. So, it’s all good.

  8. Oh my! Your post makes me almost wish I’d watched. Almost! :roll:

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