Manic Mormon Monday

A couple of nights ago I was out with Brandon, when I got a text from Dave (who was also out). It seems that he had been early for his bus and had struck up a conversation, with two American guys, at the bus stop. So anyway, I suddenly got a text, completely out of the blue, that said:

“I just invited some Mormons round on Monday evening”.

WHAT? That took me by surprise. I mean, I have nothing against Mormons, I love Donny Osmond… But why on EARTH would Dave invite them to our house? Talking to strange Mormons while you are waiting for a bus is  mental enough, without letting them know where you LIVE. Admittedly, a Mormon friend of mine (American) gave me the best advice a girl could ever get (“Clothes should be tight enough to show that you’re a woman but loose enough to show that you’re a LADY”) but still, I knew her on the internet – I didn’t invite her OVER.

When I got home, I took Dave to task.

“Why did you invite Mormons to come round?”

“They seemed nice and it’ll be funny”.

You’re an Atheist and I’ve just started going to the Anglican Church… They’ll be wasting their time. WE will be wasting their time.”

“No, they will be telling us about their religion and we will be learning something. You’re getting into religion, so you should be interested!”

“I’m NOT interested in being a Mormon, they wear magic underwear!”

“Stop being a bigot.”

So it looks as though we have Mormons coming to preach to us, on Monday night. Bloody hell – I can’t even offer them a cup of tea, because they might get too stimulated by it. I read up on their beliefs (on Wikipedia) and the whole thing sounds BIZARRE  but Dave wouldn’t listen – when I tried to tell him he called it a “Spoiler Alert” and put his hands over his ears.


EDIT: Hahaha! Just as I was proof-reading this, Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on the front door, with a leaflet. Thank goodness *I* answered it.


20 responses to “Manic Mormon Monday

  1. Oh man, I made that mistake once. Once they get in the door, they Never. Go. Away. I swear, you’ll be getting calls forever asking when they can come over again, do you want to come to a meeting, etc.

    • Well, I live about 200 yards from an enormous JW hall, so I’m used to frequent requests to join a religion, hehehe. I just think Monday night is going to be embarassing, as they are wasting their time.

  2. whatigotsofar

    I once met a guy at a bus stop (actually waiting for a street car but same diff) who was recruiting for a cult. His opener was that he’d throw a coin on the floor, make it look like he was dropping it in front of me so I would pick it up.
    Normally, I wouldn’t humour such a socially defected person, but you see, I was on a date and didn’t want my ladyfriend to think I was a giant jerk. She picked up the coin and handed it back to the guy. He went into his routine and yadda yadda yadda.
    The next day I did some reading up on this group he was in. Yup, cult.

    • A really intelligent girl from my school (straight A student) got to about 20 years old and then joined The Children Of God cult. She was blonde and absolutely beautiful, so they sent her out “Hooking for Jesus”! She’d pick men up, have sex with them and then go on about religion etc., silly girl.

  3. On the other hand, young proselytizing Mormon dudes tend to be fairly attractive, which dovetails nicely with your pro-hot lifestyle. It’s probably all the biking and trudging.

  4. Mormons AND JW’s hitting you on the same day? Popular lady! LOL

    My husband used to be involved in a ministry that helped people recover from cults such as JW’s and Mormons. I can’t wait to hear how your visit goes. :)

  5. They’re very nice though. The best thing about them is their kindness. You’ll probably like them. By the way, I’m *not* a Mormon.

    • I think the basis of their ideas is stupid but I’m not thinking that they’ll be nasty. I just don’t want strangers in my house, trying to convery me.

      I’m happy for them that they don’t drink and I can’t help noticing that Donny Osmond turned out so much nicer than Michael Jackson… So full marks to them for that.

  6. Maybe they’ll forget by Monday.

    We have a very large Mormon population around here and most of them are very nice people. Yes, the religion is weird, but they won’t try to recruit you to the point you have to move or anything.

  7. Prepare to have all your ancestors retroactively baptized and Mormonized.

    No, I’m not kidding.

  8. The women do wear “magic” underwear, not unlike a 1920’s bathing suit. Not exactly a turn on but that’s the point. The Mormons I know are nice…but can’t speak for the whole sect. Get some milk. That’ about the strongest drink they will take. Have an excellent visit :)

  9. Let us know how the visit went!

  10. I have a Wiccan friend who loved to invite the Mormon-duos over for dinner. Halfway through their lectures, they would notice the pentacles and brooms…

  11. Pingback: How I Resisted Becoming A Mormon « Blogmella's Handbag Of Wisdom

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