The Part Of My Body Most Likely To Make Me A Fortune

On more than a couple of occasions my nipples have been described as “perfect”, which is pretty hot when you think about it – although admittedly one of the people saying that was a midwife. A male school teacher once told me that my hands were the prettiest he had ever seen (at the time I didn’t understand how inappropriate that was), which was flattering. And my legs… Well, they’re shot now but they used to be dreadfully long and sexy, as everyone pointed out. 

So which part of my body has always been the most likely to earn me a fortune? Let me show you: 

Spreading them for the boys

That’s right, my FEET. Some people cannot get enough of foot fetish porn and by “some” I mean MILLIONS. I reckon I’m standing on a fortune with these babies and their extraordinary flexibility. If I filmed myself wiggling them in a cream cake, I’d be selling the DVDs and buying a MANSION with the profits. I once posted my toe-spreading ability on YouTube and was invited to London for a photographic encounter, of the porn magazine kind.  I didn’t go, which is why I am still alive and not buried under a rapist’s patio. 

Not everyone finds my feet sexy though (I know that is hard to believe). One person replied to my YouTube video “What r u some kind of ape?” – a hurtful remark that I shall never quite  recover from. Also my boyfriend says things like, 

“JESUS CHRIST, will you cover your disgusting feet up! I feel sick!” which I can’t help interpreting as somewhat negative

So anyway, I strongly believe my feet are my fortune and if the current recession continues, I shall have to cash in on their incredible powers of seduction. Not in the flesh, obviously, just a few tasteful photographs and some arty films. I know a lot of people might JUDGE me and say it isn’t right but then again, keeping such glorious assets under wraps could be seen as selfish, couldn’t it?


31 responses to “The Part Of My Body Most Likely To Make Me A Fortune

  1. Ha! I can do that, too! My husband says that I have monkey feet cause I can pick up things with my toes and pinch him. I just tell him that he’s jealous cause when the crap hits the fan, I’ll be better suited to live in a post-apocalyptic jungle world than he will.
    Never thought about going the fetish porn route. If the freaks want it and will pay good money for it, then why not? I would set up your own website and film your own videos, though. You know, to prevent a patio burial.

  2. You’re my idol. You put a picture of your feet on your blog. Look how cute your feet are. I hate my feet. They’re big. In particular, I hate my big toes.

    And no amount of pretty nail polish ever makes them ok.

    I try to cover them up with fun socks whenever possible.

    • My feet are BIG and they might look cute there (?) but only because I have shaved my toes! I swear, I have the hairy toes of a Hobbit. I shan’t mention that to any foot-pervert fans though.

  3. People like myself that like feet get a bad rap.
    It’s fucking lame.

  4. YouTube video?

  5. You could be a yoga goddess! After you finish the pc foot fetish porn. just sayin’

  6. Sign me up to join your harem of foot porn goddesses. I have US size 11, Euro size 42 feet. Long toes and very high arches. I’ve had men BEG to fondle my feet.

    You think it’s all inocent fun till something really weird happens. When I was a sweet, back packing 18yr old punk living in London (1978), I was at a party and this dirty old man wouldn’t stop going on about my feet. The next morning he was found dead, OD. To this day I wonder if he actually had an OD because I would let him play with my feet? Worst of all, by dirty old man, he was only in his 30s.

    My current boyfriend absolutely refuses to touch my feet.

  7. I adore my feet as well. Size 9, american, high arches, long toes, I can pick things up with them, but not pinch anybody. Heck, the arches are so high that when I see a drawing of arches similarly high I can’t help but think it looks fake until I remember my own feet. ^^;

    Makes it a bit of a bitch to find shoes that actually FIT my foot. When I find a pair that do, I wear them out.

  8. I’d make Dave do the filming if I were you. When the money starts rolling in, he’ll stop asking you to cover your money makers.

  9. You’re lucky to have TWO fetish-friendly parts of your anatomy – there must be a sizable nipple-fetish community out there, just begging for new material. Trouble is, YouTube won’t accept those videos, so we’d need to start a new site: I suggest calling it NipTube. However, the last time I made up a website name, it actually existed ( That reminds me – – they owe me a couple of checks.

    • I think that was the website Snow White set up, after she retired, wasn’t it? As for “nipple fetish”, I’m not sure nipples qualify as a “fetish” do they? I thought they were pretty mainstream.

  10. I’ve always been rather fond of my feet too, so I can totally relate to this. :) I can spread mine too. :D

  11. While I don’t find your feet sexy, I also don’t find many feet sexy at all. You should totally go for it and wiggle those bad girls in a cream pie or in a vat of jello. you could make a fortune.

  12. Haha! Well, we shall see how short of cash I get first. I’ll ignore the fact that you have coldly rejected my feet.

    • I wasn’t coldly rejecting them. just politely rejecting them. If i were to have said, “i’ve seen sexier feet than yours” I would’ve been coldly rejecting your feet. I’m just not all that fond of feet that’s all. Although, I do find your feet interesting. Which is why I suggested you market your feet. :-D

  13. I ran across this blog and thought of you. Maybe submit your feet photos here:

  14. Come and join the creative fun!
    it’s probably the easiest free adventure on the whole internet!

  15. I’m not a foot person, but your feet are quite adorable.

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