Watching The Dating Channels

A couple of Brandon’s friends stayed over on his birthday, so yesterday morning (when they had all woken up) I fried up some eggs and bacon, gave them all mugs of tea and put the TV on. We watched a quiz show but after that everything on ordinary TV was boring… So we started watching  Gay Rabbit Chat & Date  and Rabbit Chat & Date  instead.

I find it sad that there are so many lonely people out there – but gawd knows, you can see why some of them are on their own. One guy was the ugliest bloke I’ve ever seen, in make-up and a wig, with eyebrows drawn half-way up his head. His message? “Looking 4 black male” – we all agreed blackmail was more on the cards. Then there was the “str8 guy” who wanted to date a transvestite. Maybe I’m old-fashioned but my definition of  “str8” doesn’t include men who have sex with men in dresses. Lots of very pretty young boys wanted to date men who were “up to 80″… How broad-minded of them!

On non-gay Rabbit, there were two men (looking for “laydeez” ) in sunglasses and reflective safety jackets – They had obviously decided to take their dating profile pictures whilst emptying dustbins, (or completing their court ordered Community Service). Lots of women seem to have gone for “sexy” and totally forgotten about “dignified” in their pictures. As ever, the fatter the women, the more “bubbly” they claimed to be. Far too many people were “LUKIN” for love. Aaaarrrrgh. And the ages… If the ages on EITHER of the dating channels are to be believed, some people have clearly had a lot of worry in their lives.

The biggest hit of the morning though was this message (no picture),

I AM DAVROS, LEADER OF THE DALEKS. I HAVE FAILED IN MY MISSION. I HAVE FAILED. I MUST BE EXTERMINATED. PLEASE EXTERMINATE ME! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Hahaha!

Brandon’s friend Ben (who seems to be str8) said the biggest turn off about the parade of mingers on both channels was their “terrible English”. I’m glad to see that the kids Brandon hangs out with aren’t shallow and ARE geeky. I think the most childish person watching was probably me.

 Now, I have to go, sorry. Don’t tell Dave but I have a date with a Dalek.

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12 responses to “Watching The Dating Channels

  1. This is so funny. Now, please translate for me: mingers? Merci…

  2. I had never heard/scene these chat & date sights. And they have it on tv, too? And I thought the personal ads on Craigslist.com were hilarious.
    Let me know how the date went!

  3. =chuckle= of that lot, I think the Dalek is probably the top choice! =)

  4. One night in a fit of boredom, my friend, the kids and I read through the personals on MSN. Holy shit. We were literally rolling on the floor, clutching our sides and racing for the bathroom we were laughing so hard. Like Brandon and his friends, my kids found the bad grammar and spelling the funniest part of the ads.

    Talk about free entertainment.

    • When I was a care worker (looking after old people in their own homes) my colleague and I spent our morning breaks in the cafe and quite often read the personals, in the free newspaper. We were cracked up half the time. Also I got more than one bloke coming over and asking me if I was looking for a man… Hahaha! Good times.

  5. It cracks me up that the bad English was what was most annoying. I can’t tell if that jaded or innocence. See a guy in a dress? No impact. He speaks poorly? EWWW!

    Funny what makes the biggest impression on us sometimes. :)

    Have fun on your date!

  6. I posted a link to this on my facebook fan page yesterday. I wonder if anyone else wants to date Davros.

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