As I mentioned in an earlier post, Brandon spent the weekend camping and walking on the local Moors, with Army Cadets. I missed him, so I was really glad when he got home, on Sunday evening. But he didn’t come home empty handed…
As well as the sunburnt neck (he forgot to apply sun-block to that bit of him) and a ton of insect bites (I knew we forgot to pack something) he also brought home FOOD.
And not just any food. It was Army issue CAMPING FOOD. He had his own unused packs and he had collected anything nobody else wanted. He knows I love things like that. I love anything that makes me think of a) survival and b) eating. I love tiny food in foil – food on planes, for instance. Mmmm. And I have strange fantasies about living in the wild, making my own shelter and sucking cold chicken stew from a foil pouch. What? That’s a perfectly normal dream.
So now we have a pile of cool little brown tubes, that look like toothpaste but are actually full of Fruit Spread and Yeast Extract. We also have “Action Man” sized bottles of Tabasco Sauce, and individual servings of the world’s hardest biscuits. Then there are the sachets of Hot Chocolate powder and Instant Soup. Best of all though, we have foil-pouched Ready Meals – such as “Chicken Arabbiata” and “Chicken With Herb Dumplings”. And hot desserts, like “Toffee Pudding with Toffee Sauce” and “Sponge Pudding With Custard”. Yummy! All you have to do is dump them in cold water and bring it to the boil. I almost forgot to mention all the little packs of condiments and the waterproof matches. Brilliant stuff.
I daresay we will eat all these things in time but not actually whilst CAMPING. Dave isn’t very outdoorsy and we don’t have a car at present. Or a tent. But I will still enjoy them… I’ll enjoy the novelty and I’ll pretend I am behind enemy lines, or in space, or camping in the Peak District. Nothing beats food that is chock full of preservatives and dreams of adventure, warmed up in a foil pouch.