Tag Archives: health

Atrium Of Doom

It must have seemed like a great idea, when designing the enormous reception area for the new Manchester Royal Eye Hospital, to house it in an atrium. After all, atria are always impressive spaces, filled (as they are) with air and bright sunlight.

Oh but wait… I was there this morning and you know what? A massive atrium full of LIGHT is no f*cking place to be, when you have dilated pupils. And funnily enough, there are a lot of people walking around in the Eye Hospital with their pupils dilated, because that’s the first thing the nurse does to you – before the Doctor looks at your eyes. And the drops last for three hours. And you inevitably find yourself leaving through Reception and THE BLINDING ATRIUM OF DOOM.

Do people even think for a moment before spending public money on idiotic shit like this? A member of staff told me that it is useless even on some dull days – because the rain beats down on the glass roof and the sound echoes like a giant deafening drum. Bloody hell.

No change with the blood-clot-blockage-thingy on my right retina. I saw a leading specialist and he said “Let’s just wait and see if it goes away on its own”. Hmmmm. And then I left, via the evil atrium, with a Gollumesque gait and smoke coming from my eye sockets.

My Assessment Of Hospital Signs

These pictures are a little dark and blurry – because my crappy phone camera doesn’t have a flash and because they were taken in a hurry. After all, you’re not really supposed to take photographs in hospital corridors are you? Probably not.  Both are signs from NHS hospitals I’ve been involved with and they are both regarding “assessments”…

I took this first photo when going to get assessed, before having my gallbladder removed.Spelling? 

Yes, that’s right – I was about to let these people slice me open and rip out one of my organs, when they couldn’t even get their sign right. I mean, come ON, somebody accepted this sign (or did they order it to be like that?), then someone else put it up, then all the staff walked under it day after day… But nobody noticed it was WRONG? Or were they too sloppy to care?  Either way, it worried me. The op was a success, luckily.

My second photo is from the hospital that treated my Dad for cancer (he is now dead, sadly).

Again it mentions assessments and I suppose I should be glad that they can spell the word… But STILL the sign gave me a “What the f*ck?!” feeling – because they appeared to be assessing penguins. Despite that and the existence of “Panda Ward”, this was not an Animal Hospital… So I had to assume the place was being run by Surrealists, crack addicts, or Furries – which worried me almost as much as the misspelt sign back at the hospital that treated me.

My final assessment of all this? Based on my photos – the signs are not good.