Tag Archives: rant

Mindless Vandals

When I lived in Brighton, I would see bikes like this at least twice a week.

What kind of idiot goes around damaging bicycles? Was the motive sheer vandalistic pleasure? Frustration that the bike locks wouldn’t break and therefore the bikes couldn’t be stolen?  Or was it a personal vendetta, against cyclists?

Sometimes the way people behave utterly baffles me. Don’t they have ANY feelings for others? No consciences at all? No human decency? Virtually everyone I know has been a victim of crime, or several crimes. We are forced to scuttle from place to place, watched by CCTV, clinging to our possessions and regarding everyone else as a threat. Brilliant.

We need to stop fostering such a huge sense of “entitlement” in our children. We need to stop making TV shows where success depends on impressing bullies like Simon Cowell and fame is the only goal. We need to stop making TV shows like Big Brother, where showing off and trying to be popular are more important than being genuinely charming and accomplished. Maybe we just need to turn off the TV entirely, go out and pick up some litter.

Every time I look at the picture I took of those bikes, I get like this. I get angry and frustrated. I want to go into Brandon’s school and start lecturing kids about films and computer games. I want to tell them that in REAL LIFE, it isn’t acceptable to smash a room up, because you’re upset about something. I want to tell them that REAL justice isn’t served without a trial. I want to tell them that those “achievements” you earn on Xbox 360 are NOT achievements at all but are just something you sit around getting when you can’t be bothered to LIVE. I want to tell them that most of us adults are a bad example and we need them to be better than we are/were.

I don’t really know how to wrap this up but I’ve gone on for too long and I’ve ranted enough now. Thanks for reading. Take care out there and park your bike in a safe place, or better still, fit it with a booby trap. I need to make some tea, to calm me down.


Some People Are Just Stupid And Hateful

1) Moronic royal reject Sarah Ferguson has been trying to sell access to her Ex (Prince Andrew) for £500,000. Sadly for her, she was dealing with an undercover journalist, who filmed her. Poor stupid  Sarah should keep her head down – we all know what happens to women who split with sons of the Queen and then fail to shut up. Personally I’d like all the Royals AND their hangers-on to be sent to the Moon and left there. I must add though – if anyone has £500,000 to waste and wants to meet my Ex, please contact me here. For that much money I won’t just introduce you, I’ll hold him down while you f*** him.

2) Yet again, somebody has sent me a violently racist joke, via text message. WTF? The last person who did this didn’t know me very well… THIS time the “joke” was from somebody I’ve known since I was sixteen. I know I did stand-up comedy for a while but that doesn’t mean I want to be informed of any old piece of hate-filled shit that some idiot considers “funny”.  Plus, I don’t want these messages popping up on my mobile phone, where they will be stored until I delete them. What if I get sent one and then I’m run over and killed before I notice it? Anyone who goes through my belongings, in oder to identify me, will think “Wow, she must be a racist, people are sending her racist jokes! I’m glad she is dead!”. I wear clean knickers, in case I get run over – please don’t ruin my efforts to die as a respectable person by polluting my phone.

3) Yesterday a baby was Christened at our Church. One of the women attending was dressed like a whore, kept looking impatiently at her watch throughout the service and got the giggles so badly during the Lord’s Prayer that she was shaking and crying. Nice choice of Godmother there.

I’m not a fan of “people” this morning.

(BTW, that thing about my Ex was a tasteless “joke” that I didn’t really mean. I would never condone, or encourage, rape. Just be grateful I didn’t send it to your mobile.)